Donald Maass Preys on Writers

For those of you who have been reading this blog, you must know by now that I think Writers' Digest is the authors' equivalent of an antichrist. From its vanity press to continuous offers for overpriced webinars, this company has made preying on writers an even more lucrative industry than writing itself, and those who promote it are just as bad. That's why I'm singling out Donald Maass as the epitome of scum because of his strong affiliation with such a despicable organization.
       Having worked as an agent for years as well as owning his own literary agency, Maass is all too aware of how difficult it is to find one's way in the publishing business, yet he holds that dream in front of people like a worm on a hook with his poor-quality guides and columns. Why does he do this? Could it be because he wants to help writers achieve their dreams? No, it's because of how many zeros are on that check.
      For most serious writers, guides to "writing the breakout novel" are irrelevant. We already know what's necessary in order to write a book that people will want to read (btw, my sales are doing quite well at the moment). The only "guides" we rely on are dictionaries, thesauri, and Strunk and White's "The Elements of Style." We don't waste our time with inflated trash written by Maass for WD. People who are most likely to buy such guides probably don't have enough talent to write a decent novel. After all, it's a difficult thing to do, and I've downloaded lots of amateur efforts on Amazon to prove that they're exactly that, amateur.
      As far as my opinion goes, Maass is just another guy who is tapping into the market of would-be authors by selling his advice and offering zero promises. The publishing world is changing and people like Maass are rapidly becoming dinosaurs. So, go ahead and buy Maass's "writing" guides. Attend WD conferences where he is giving a "seminar," and see what all of that gets you other than a lot of money wasted and little results. For anyone who makes money through WD couldn't care less about the integrity of the writing or publishing industry.

More on the Evils of Writers' Digest

Yes, I'm back with another diatribe against Writers' Digest, that servile corporation that preys on authors like a shark does on mackarel. For some crazy reason, I've decided to remain on their e-mail list and am constantly receiving "offers" for their services and crappy vanity press. What gets me the most is the price tag for their damned webinars. Seriously, what poor sap will pay $90 to learn how to "hook an agent." Besides, I've seen their advice, and I've even followed their advice. Am I on the NY Times Bestseller List? Nope, and I certainly haven't hooked an agent either despite following their bullshit formulas for writing the "perfect query letter." I should add that I have published the traditional way in the past. I just can't find someone to take on my novel.

What concerns me the most about what WD does is that there are many unsuspecting writers out there that truly lack the talent to write a grocery list, far less a novel. And they're too naiive to realie that WD is only out to take their money. Do they ever offer any guarantees for refunds if after having bought all of their garbage manuals and paid for several useless webinars you're still not published? Of course not, they don't believe in their products and feel no guilt about taking your money.

Fight the power! Fight that scum Writers' Digest!

Kindle Boards Suck!

Okay, here I go again with another rant, and actually it's been a while since I've been pissed enough to write something on this blog. Nevertheless, I am pissed and must vent about something, and that's the Kindle Boards (the Writers' Cafe in particular).

For those of you who have visited the site, you've got to notice how it's little more than a "look at me" and "look at what a great writer I am" circle jerk sound off. Like those people are writers anyway. Just check out how much some of them post. For the love of God, how can you write novels when you've made over 10,000 posts in the past year? You can't unless you're receiving carpal tunnel treatments on a daily basis.

Oh, and then there are the thread topics. These are a real hit. I particularly liked "I got my first positive review on Amazon!" (Seriously, no one gives a shit). Another one is "I'm in the top sixty!" (Did you hear that? Yeah, that's the sound of no one caring). Periodically, I feel sorry for some of the people that try to navigate this morass of crap in the hopes of joining a true online writers' community. Yeah, that's like trying to swim with starving sharks.

Most frequent KB posters are nasty, insecure individuals that try to promote their writing prowess by denigrating others or by letting you know how many free books they've given away. Here's an example of a typical KB response to a question someone was asking about online promotions:

Q: "I'm having some trouble getting sales. Does anyone know of some good sites to promote ebooks?"

A: "I went to Goodreads! Just a few days of promoting and I got into the top 100!"

A: "If you're work is any good, you won't need to do much. If you gotta do a lot then you might as well give up."

Yeah, this is pretty typical on that pissing contest of a message board. The Angry Writer was pretty disgusted with the conduct of some the KB regulars (Note: the moderators are also slime). My opinion of writing groups aren't much better either. Most of those are dick-hanging contests too where each member tries to offer the most critical feedback to impress everyone else. Finding someone who will give you meaningful feedback is like striking gold. It rarely happens and is quite valuable when it does.

Meanwhile, the moral of the story is stay away from Kindle Boards, unless you want to see a bunch of insecure wannabes (Trust me, they are. Just try a sample or two of their books. Badly written crap is all I have to say).

So Now I'm Supposed to Give My Book away for Free

Well, I've gone and done it. I have published my book on Amazon via Kindle Direct Publishing (no, the Angry Writer is not going to tell you the title. I want to be positive when talking about my work. This is where I rant). So far my sales have been pretty shitty, mostly due to no publicity (like I'm going to get ripped off for low-exposure, over-priced advertising). But wait, Amazon has a suggestion. They're telling me I need to make my book free to generate sales. Sorry, I don't consider books to be like food and drink samples at the local grocery store. The idea of giving a sample is that someone will want to buy more. Why the fuck would they buy more if they have gotten all they can get? Are you saying that I should make it free so that people will spread the word? I think they are. What pisses me off even more is now my book has to compete with the 20,000 freebies available on Amazon. Talk about bullshit for the little guy and the Angry Writer.

To Hell with It, I Should Go with Kindle!

Okay, so I'm getting pretty jaded with the whole "finding an agent" process, one that I have come to view as trying to find a girlfriend. It's all about finding that special someone who likes your writing, not so much on whether it's good. Anyway, back to the point of this entry. After several months of not "making a connection" with an agent, I've started considering publishing my work directly on Kindle. After countless hours of writing, editing, crafting synopses, and sending query letters, I've come to the conclusion that the traditional method of publishing is bullshit. To be perfectly candid, I'm pretty happy to see the big publishing houses on the run from the megalomaniacal Amazon, and they deserve whatever they get. They also have no one else to blame except themselves.

For decades, these douche bag companies have served as the gatekeepers to the industry, cherry-picking whatever they thought would have commercial value. Well guess what, ass holes, your days are numbered. Good writers who are too exasperated to continue trying to convince one of your shithead reps that they have a winning story are now circumnavigating you altogether, and surprise, they're succeeding!

While many writers are not seeing any success whatsoever from Amazon (because their writing probably isn't any better than a third grader's), quite a few are. I'm thinking that I probably will too, and hopefully I will be posting some details about my upcoming book. Maybe with a little luck, this blog will be titled "Happy Writer." Yeah, like that will ever fucking happen. I'm only happy when I can be an obscenity spewing curmudgeon.

Divertir Publishing Dives to New Lows

Greetings all, this latest tirade is against a new publisher in the marker, Divertir Publishing. And yes, I was unfortunate enough to have dealt with them. To make a long story short, I want to rant against their lack of professionalism.

Before I get started, here's a little background information. I submitted my manuscript to Divertir about six weeks ago, and they rejected it with a simple form letter about two weeks later. That didn't really bother me too much, although I was somewhat irked that they chose a form letter after boasting how they wanted to be different than other more mainstream presses. What really bothered me was that they sent me the same rejection once again a month later. I guess they really wanted to make sure I got it. Uh yeah, I sure did.

So here is what I would like to say to the staff of Divertir Publishing (if they ever stumble on this blog). "I'm sorry that you and your sad staff didn't like my query. If it was only worth a form letter then so be it. However, you pea-brained ass holes only needed to send it once. Yeah, I got the message. There was no need for you to rub it in, and I don't care if it was a 'mistake.' Honestly, have some respect for the people who send you their work and keep track of what you do and don't want."

Thanks for reading

Writers' Digest Sucks

Ok, I'm starting my first entry here, and for anyone who follows this blog, I'll let you know that I'll be posting whenever something irks me. Today, that something is Writers' Digest. For those who write and are trying to get published, this company seems like the writers' equivalent of Standard Oil. It practically holds a monopoly on the publishing guidebooks. Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind, but this company seems to have zero integrity when it comes to providing its readers with sound advice.

Recently, I saw that they have created a vanity press, which is extremely overpriced for what it offers. Magazines like this should be doing everything they can to steer new writers from this course, not guide them into it. Unfortunately for someone like me who is just starting, I've turned to Writers' Digest on several occasions for writing tips. Not anymore though, after receiving their Abbott Press e-mail, I'm kicking this company to the curb.

Another issue I have with Writers' Digest is the garbage articles they publish. I mean come on, has anyone seen some of them recently. My particular favorite is this one written by an agent who explains why she rejects potential writers. She offers a variety of samples, but the article is rather uninformative, at least to a serious writer. Anyone could read those passages and realize the writing was crap. No, what I wanted to see was high quality submissions written by pros that were turned down, not what the rank amateurs submitted.

I'd love to continue this diatribe on WD, but some real work is calling my attention at the moment. Thanks for reading.